The frightening side of silence
13 December 2023
Eryn reflects on how frightening it can be to speak up against discrimination in the workplace.
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In Schwartz Rounds, we often talk about the power of silence. Moments of silence can happen after hearing a powerful and meaningful story and this silence isn’t something to be afraid of. But there is another type of silence that can be painful, scary and even threatening to those who experience it.
Last month I attended a Schwartz Round at a large city NHS hospital with the theme ‘Speak Up.’ This connected the Round to the NHS Speak Up month campaign which encourages NHS employees to be aware of the work of Freedom to Speak Up Guardians — an alternative route to normal channels for supporting staff to speak up when they need to and ensures them someone will listen.
It was a powerful Round. Storytellers shared times they were silenced, not noticed, and were told to not speak. I could hear the pain in their voices. One of the storytellers stood out to me while they shared their story about how they tried to speak up when they saw acts of discrimination happening in their workplace. They talked about noticing something but how they didn’t hear anyone else speaking about it, so questioned if it was really happening. Then the storyteller told us that when they had the courage to finally speak up about what they had seen, they were told by both their colleagues and management not to bother and that nothing would change. Silently, these colleagues and managers agreed that this discrimination was occurring and showed the storyteller that the status quo could not or should not change. That, for whatever reason, this type of discrimination was allowed and perhaps even deliberate.
Unfortunately, in that situation, nothing did change. What helped the storyteller continue to fight workplace discrimination, however, were the short and private conversations she had with colleagues who told her that she was doing a good job, that this fight was the correct one, and that they too believed what was happening was wrong.
For the storyteller, these private acts of connection and sharing, helped them to feel safer and more able to continue their fight against discrimination.
Often, we think that being silent means that we are not sharing an opinion — that choosing silence is the ‘safe’ option. But to the person or people affected, that silence can be frightening. Acts of omission can be just as harmful and impactful as acts of commission.
Acts of omission can be just as harmful and impactful as acts of commission.”
When I think of personal situations where I have felt similarly and can hear and feel the silence around me, I have had many thoughts going through my head. Perhaps the silence is because the people I am with do not notice the discrimination happening. Perhaps they don’t care? Or maybe they even condone it.
Because of this silence, I became more silent. I am more hesitant to share what is happening with me, what I am thinking or feeling. I quiet parts of my identity and I shy away from speaking about certain topics.
What was so profound at this Schwartz Round was the feeling of collective safety. This was a space where staff felt able to share experiences and feelings in a public forum for the first time.
I was also struck by stories from members of the audience. These stories were not pre-prepared, but audience members shared times when they had experienced similar situations where they had spoken up about discrimination they had witnessed or experienced. It was the feeling that this was not only about the experiences of the four storytellers but connecting with many more — both inside the room and out.
I am not sure what will happen next at this Trust, but I know from the conversations that people were talking and thinking about their actions, their colleagues, and the work that needs to be done to make workplaces safe for everyone. Where we can be our whole selves and speak up against discrimination without hearing silence in return.